Drake Was Here
by eumonigy
Summary: Drake woke up cold...
1. Cold

**Drake Was Here  
**_Chapter One: Cold_

Drake woke up freezing.

Groaning, he rolled onto his side, looking out over the room. Empty. His eyes found the digital clock next to his bed; 9:28 am.

Making a valiant attempt at ignoring the deep ache that rattled through his body, he sat up, hunching over and cradling his throbbing head in his hands.

He felt a little like he imagined it must feel to be put through a food processor and then thrown out a window into afternoon traffic. Shivering, he pulled his comforter around his shoulders before climbing down the ladder, his feet touching the cold floor hesitantly.

"Josh?" he called, surprised at the way his voice cracked sharply. When no one answered, he pulled the blanket tighter around himself, though it was doing nothing to keep him warm, and made his way to the bedroom door. Reaching out, he absently turned the knob, and was shocked when it didn't move.

The door was locked? He didn't remember locking the door last night. Then again, he didn't remember much of anything from last night, but judging from the way he felt, it must have been one hell of a party.

A bit unnerved, he unlocked the door and headed into the hallway and down the stairs. The living room and kitchen were empty, too, much to Drake's chagrin. Glancing at the food in the refrigerator only served to make his stomach turn in agony, so he gave up the idea of breakfast.

Frustrated, he let the blanket drop from his shoulders to rest on the kitchen floor, ran upstairs to throw on some clothes, and then he was out the door. Where his car was not.

Gaping, he looked at the empty space where his car had once sat. He looked around wonderingly at the empty driveway and the street in front of the house.

Had his car been stolen? He couldn't believe it! He almost screamed when he remembered that he'd left his guitar in the backseat – _stupid!_

Kicking the pavement, he ground his teeth and started in the direction of the Premiere.

Maybe Josh would know what was going on.

On the way to the theater, Drake looked up at the sky in confusion. There wasn't a cloud in sight, and the sun shown down powerfully, but he was still freezing. The people he passed in the street were all dressed for sunny weather, and none of them seemed bothered by the cold.

Upon reaching the movie theater, he whimpered on finding it just as cold as the street outside. Hurrying in, his eyes immediately went to the candy counter. Behind it sat, not Josh, but Gavin, meaning that Josh wasn't coming in today.

"Dammit…" Drake cursed, and turned to leave, when he heard Helen.

"Gavin, the butter's getting low, run down to the basement and get some more."

"Aw, man," Gavin responded sourly, "Why isn't Josh in today, anyway?"

A silence followed. Drake turned to look at the woman, who was staring down at her clipboard in melancholy. Sighing, she leaned forward and whispered something that made Gavin gasp in shock.

"No!"

She nodded forlornly.

"Aw, man… that… that kinda… sucks…" Depression settled in over his face.

She nodded again, and then repeated her request for butter, before disappearing into her office.

Confused, sick, and now worried, Drake headed out the door, determined to find his brother.

When Drake arrived at home again, he was more exhausted and cold then he'd ever felt in his entire life. His spirits perked immediately, though, upon seeing his mother's car in the driveway. Hurrying in through the kitchen door, he entered the living room and saw his little sister on the couch, completely still and silent. Immediately suspicious, he glanced around nervously as he entered the room.

"Hey Megan, what's up?" He said, his voice now hoarse and worse then before.

The girl looked in his direction, startled, staring at him. Then, she stood up and left the room.

Drake frowned. "That was rude." He made his way to the couch, and flopped down on it, at least now certain that his family hadn't disappeared off the face of the earth.

He reached for the remote and turned on the TV. Muting it, he watched through half closed eyes as a cartoon cat was nearly beheaded by the mouse it was chasing. It wasn't too long before Drake fell into a restless, miserable sleep that he couldn't seem to escape. He thought he was conscious enough once to hear, with relief, his mother's voice.

"Megan, I thought I told you not to leave the TV on, sweetheart."

"I didn't, mom…"

And then his world was oblivion again.

When he finally managed to wake up, he opened his eyes to be greeted by darkness. Outside, the sun had set what looked like hours ago. All of the lights in the living room were off. Grumbling about people not waking him up, he stood stiffly.

Dim, yellow light filtered in through the crack in the shutters that covered the window between the kitchen and living room. Curious, Drake crept to them and pressed his eye against the crack. Inside, his mother and stepfather were talking quietly.

He was startled by the appearance of his parents. Audrey was ashen faced, her usually pristine hair hanging limp and sad. She moved as though expecting her body to fall apart at the seams, hunched, and holding her robe tightly around her body. Walter just looked plain unhealthy. Unshaven, with dark, heavy circles under his eyes, he leaned against the counter like it was a lifeline. Drake listened carefully to his parents' hushed voices.

"I know," Audrey was saying, "I… just … I just can't… not… not yet…"

"I understand, Audrey," Walter said, putting an arm around her shoulders, "And I think we should wait. For the kids… for us, too. I mean, I can't even ima-magine…" his voice broke and he trailed off unhappily.

Audrey rubbed her husbands arm. "I'm sure Josh is alright, Walter. He's a good kid. He just needs some alone time, some time to figure this out. He… he'll be alright. He'll be home before you know it."

Drake stiffened as his parents fell into an uneasy silence. What was wrong with Josh? What was going on here that no one had bothered to let him in on? And Josh wasn't home yet? Drake carefully rearranged his position so that he could just make out the clock above the oven. It was well after midnight.

He almost jumped out of his skin when he saw the kitchen door opening. Not wanting to get into trouble for eavesdropping, Drake hurried to the stairs, bounding silently up them three at a time.

When he reached his room, he was surprised to find his bed made neatly with the blanket he had abandoned on the kitchen floor that morning. Sighing, he crawled up into his bed and curled up underneath the blanket, still cold and achy, now doubly worried with a thousand unanswered questions.

He lay there for a good fifteen minutes, fighting off the sleep that tried to claim him. He wanted to be awake when Josh got home. But he was just so tired. It was impossible to hold off the tide of fatigue. Just as he fell out of consciousness, voices erupted downstairs.

It was six in the morning when Drake violently pulled himself out of his dreamless unrest, sucking in several horrible breaths, as though he had stopped breathing while he was sleeping. Fighting back a choked sob, he curled his shivering form into a ball. That was when he noticed the movement across the room.

Sitting up straight as a rod, unable to keep the grin off his face, Drake scouted Josh's bed to find that yes, the lump under the covers of the other bed were, in fact, his brother.

Flying down the rungs of his ladder and across the floor, he barreled himself into the larger form of his brother, reveling in the warmth that the contact caused. Josh mumbled in sleepy confusion, and then turned, his tired eyes open. He looked at Drake with his eyebrows furrowed.

"Hey," Drake said happily.

"Uh… hey?" Josh responded.

Drake smiled, wide awake, warm and comfortable. And then Josh's eyes popped wide open.

"Drake?" he said, as though startled by the notion.

"Yup?"

Josh gasped, his mouth wide open and moving comically, reminding Drake of a fish he once had.

Sitting up, and not taking his eyes off Drake, Josh slowly shook his head. "You're… not…"

"I'm not?" Drake said playfully. Now fully relieved that his brother was here, and alright, he felt a hundred percent better. Even if, he thought with a bit of concern, Josh did look a bit thinner since yesterday.

_Yesterday? It feels like so much longer then that…_

"Um… Drake…" Josh was beginning to sweat. "I think I've lost my mind."

Drake cocked his head to the side. "Why? Have you been putting your underwear on outside of your pants again?"

"You're not… really… here."

"What?" Slightly offended, Drake pulled away. The chill he had been in all day tingled in his shoulders again. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Josh started to laugh nervously, standing up and leaving Drake even colder. "There… there's no way… you're here."

"Really?" Drake asked, "If I wasn't here, could I do this?" And with that he picked up a pillow and plowed it into the side of his brother's head.

Josh stood stock still, shocked. "You _can't_ be here."

"Why?" Drake said, irritation slipping into his voice. "Why can't I be here?"

"Because…" Josh said desperately.

"Because what?"

"Drake…"

"Yeah?" Drake demanded.

Josh looked eerie standing in the dim morning light, his eyes wide and disbelieving.

"…You're dead."

TBC

A/N: Oh me oh my. Yes, I have left you at a cliff hanger. The mother of all cliff hangers, muahahaha! Actually, I imagine the mother of all cliff hangers actually involves someone hanging off a cliff. But still.


	2. What Dreams May Come

**Drake Was Here  
**_Chapter Two: What Dreams May Come_

Josh paced the room, as he had been for the last fifteen minutes, mumbling rapidly and incoherently. Drake was reclined on his brother's bed under the covers, having found the warm spot where Josh had been sleeping not too long ago.

Finally, Drake sighed, unable to take much more.

"Josh?" he said firmly. Josh spun around and stared at him like a deer caught in headlights. "Drugs are bad for you."

Josh scowled. "Not funny."

"I thought it was," Drake smirked.

"How on Earth could you possibly be so calm right now!" Josh demanded. "I mean… you've been… you were… _dead_!"

"Yes, getting around to that…" Drake said, sitting up slightly and shivering a bit as the blanket fell to his waist, "Clearly, you've gone insane. I mean, I'm sitting right here Josh. Obviously I'm not dead."

All the blood drained from Josh's face, leaving him white as a sheet.

"You… are. You're … here…" And with that, he burst into tears, tackled his brother, and held him in bear hug, refusing to let go.

"God, you're nuts," Drake rolled his eyes, allowing his brother to continue squeezing him. "Maybe you just had a really realistic dream or something." Josh let out a choked mumble from his brother's shoulder. "C'mon, let's go downstairs. We can talk to mom and dad or something. You're being silly, Josh."

Downstairs, the TV was on quietly, and Megan sat on the couch, but she wasn't watching it. Her eyes were pinned on a picture on the wall. It was a framed snapshot from their vacation to Disneyland last year. In it, her two brothers hugged her while she couldn't stop from smiling.

As Drake came down the stairs, Josh following slowly behind in awe, her eyes jumped to the staircase, as though terrified of what she was going to see. She sighed in relief when she saw who it was.

"Josh."

He raised a hand at her in absent minded greeting, still staring at Drake. She gave him a strange look.

"That's nice, Munchkin," Drake scoffed, "Hello to you, too."

Megan looked at the spot where Drake stood and shivered.

"You okay, kiddo?" Drake asked, concerned.

Megan didn't respond. That was when a memory hit him.

_Crawling, crawling through the underbrush, terrified, Megan at the top of the hill yelling his name. He wanted to call back to her, tell her to be quiet, but he couldn't find his voice. Rocks and twigs scraped against his bare wrists, and he was cold, so cold…_

The lights in the house flickered gently, causing Drake to snap back to reality. Megan looked up in awe at the lamp. _What was that?_ He wondered briefly.

The kitchen door suddenly opened, and Audrey came out. She looked better then she had last night, but it was almost forced. It looked like she had to work to hold her body straight, and her hair was still drab looking.

"Power surge, I guess," she said quietly, referring to the light.

"Hey, mom," Drake said. His mother didn't look at him. "Mom?"

An uneasy feeling creeping into his stomach, he hesitantly brought his hand up to her face and waved it. She didn't so much as blink.

Feeling sick, he looked over his shoulder at his brother, who was pale faced and intently watching him, as though he might disappear at any moment.

"This isn't funny," he said shakily. "This is just mean. This is a really mean joke." His eyes burned with tears as hysteria began to bloom in his mind. He looked pleadingly into his brother's eyes. "Tell me this is a joke."

Josh's mouth parted and opened slightly, but he couldn't seem to get any words out. He shook his head slowly.

Narrowing his eyes, Drake stormed over to his sister, reaching out to grab her shoulder. "This is sick, even for you, Megan!" When his hand touched her shoulder, he gasped in shock and recoiled. It was like touching ice. Megan shuddered deeply, looking with desperate confusion at Drake, as though she couldn't see him.

He saw a sadness in her brown eyes that couldn't have ever been there before. Deep pain reflected through her and he felt himself falling into shock.

It couldn't be.

He looked again at Josh, who was still and white, and then at his mother, who was so quiet, avoiding looking at any of her children.

Audrey finally cleared her throat. "Um, you two should come to breakfast soon."

Audrey saying you _two_ sent him reeling. She turned to start towards the kitchen.

"No! Mom!" Drake said desperately. The lights flickered again, causing her to pause. "Look at me!"

But only Josh, who hadn't stopped looking at Drake, seemed to see him. Shaking herself, Audrey took a few more steps towards the door. Drake sucked in the deepest breath he could manage, and then screamed at the top of his lungs.

The windows flew open, one or two shattering. The lights went berserk, turning on and off rapidly. The TV went to static.

"Oh, my God!" Audrey yelled, "What's going on?" She ran over to the couch, hauled Megan up, and pulled her towards Josh. Slowly, everything simmered down. The lights flickered one last time and then went back to normal. The image on the TV screen returned. Drake let the rage and sorrow leave him for a moment as the sudden, crazy thought came to him; _I did that, didn't I?_

And then he ran as fast as he could, up the stairs, and slammed the bedroom door shut behind him. He heard Megan scream a little at the sound, and winced.

This couldn't be happening.

This couldn't be real.

He collapsed into a shivering ball as the cold found him again. Tears rushed down his face. Wheezing, exhausted, he almost didn't even notice the door softly open and close. Warmth seeped into him again as he was surrounded by his brother's arms.

"Josh…" he whimpered, "Tell me this isn't really happening…"

Josh was silent for a moment. Then he squeezed Drake as tight as he could. "I'm so sorry…"

Drake sobbed. "No…"

The were silent for a long while, Josh holding Drake securely. Drake slowly sat up, looked once at his brother's face before wiping away the tears that still soaked his own. He breathed deeply for a moment, then turned back to the other boy.

"Josh…" Josh met his eyes with understanding, willing to do anything at the moment for Drake. "…Tell me what happened."

TBC

A/N: Wow… okay, so I'm not sure how I feel about this chapter. Please note, though, that I tried three different ways to write the damn thing, and this was the only one that really worked for me…

Anyway, love to my reviewers! And I know I didn't really explain anything… many apologies for that… in the next chapter, you'll find out about Drake's death, and some of the boys' theories, but that's about it. You can expect a more in depth explanation around chapters four and five.

Thank you to all you lovely people out there for reading my story! The next chapter will be up sometime this week, I promise : )


	3. Everything's Gone

**Drake Was Here  
**_Chapter Three: Everything's Gone_

What Josh remembered of the week after his brother died was the pain, confusion and stifling loneliness. He remembered sitting alone in their room that seemed suddenly all too large.

Mostly, he remembered the thousand times he wanted desperately to talk to Drake about it, knowing he never could.

He remembered not sleeping much, because he knew, if he did, he would wake up praying it was just a dream. The longer he didn't sleep, the longer it wasn't really real.

Where was Drake?

Out on a date with Mandy at the Premiere.

Why wasn't he there when the sun came up?

He had forgotten a test and studied all night, falling asleep in the living room.

Why wasn't he at the painfully awkward and silent family dinners?

He was out partying and mom and dad were going to ground him so hard when he got home...

As much as Josh wanted to tell himself these things, the uncontrollable memories were enough to tell him they weren't true.

"_Josh... Megan... sit down, there's... there's something we need to tell you..."_

"_What is it? Why are you crying, mommy?"_

"_Dad? What's going on?"_

"_Your brother... Your brother was in an accident."_

"_What? What's wrong with Drake? Is he okay? Is he hurt?"_

"_..."_

"_He's not okay, is he? What happened? Where is he?"_

"_Josh... Megan... Your brother... your brother is..."_

"_No."_

"_Josh..."_

"_NO! I don't believe you!"_

"_Josh, I'm so sorry... Drake is dead."_

After that, he remembered stumbling away from them, into the bathroom, falling onto his knees and not quite making it to the toilet before emptying his lunch all over the floor. He remembered Megan's screaming sobs and denials. He remembered the sudden explosion of hate and rage and despair inside, making a home inside him.

His father and Mindy tried to help him, but he wouldn't talk to anyone. When Helen wouldn't let him work, saying he needed to rest and deal with the loss, he started going out and staying out all hours of the night. He wasn't really going anywhere. He just walked or drove around, going any place that was open and would let him in.

Audrey and Walter were so sick with grief over Drake worry over Josh that they seemed to age five years within the span of five days. The sadness and frustration built up steadily and quickly, resulting in screaming matches whenever Josh would finally get home at some ungodly hour of the night.

He remembered wanting to die.

That seemed so strange and distant now. He hadn't paused to think about it then, but now, with his dead-but-alive brother lying huddled in his arms, listening to what Josh knew about his death, he realized what it was he had been feeling. It was like the other half of his soul had been ripped out of him, and no one quite understood. In that short week without Drake, it felt like something vitally important, something that had been with him forever, was gone.

"It was a car accident, out on the highway," Josh explained. "I don't know if you remember, but you were on your way to the beach with Molly Pierce."

He looked up, startled. "Is she okay?"

"Physically, yeah," Josh said softly.

"What do you mean?"

"Its been... well, its been tough on us all, Drake."

He shuddered at the memory of Molly's stony, grey face. He had seen her once, at the funeral, and she had looked right at him. Her eyes had been so frighteningly empty. He thought about what she must have seen and what she must have gone through. He knew all about survivor's guilt, having experienced it himself in the worst of ways.

Drake shifted, sighed and sniffled a bit. "…I'm hungry."

Josh rolled his eyes, but he had to bite his lower lip hard to keep from laughing.

_How many people get a second chance?_ He wondered. _Or have I just completely lost it?_

* * *

Down in the kitchen, as Drake rifled through the refrigerator, Josh pondered his own mental health. It was very, very possible that he had simply snapped under the pressure and was only imagining, vividly, that Drake had come back from the dead for only him to see.

_Then again, that doesn't explain what happened earlier, does it?_ He peeked into the living room, and sure enough, two windows were still shattered, though the glass had been cleaned up.

_All right, _Josh resigned himself to the thought, _My brother has come back from the dead to haunt me._

Not that it was a bad thing, per say. But Josh had never really believed in the supernatural. That irrational mentality had always been Drake's forte. He felt a sweep of sadness at that, and then slight foolishness as he thought, _Oh, but Drake's dead_ and then, _Oh, but he's right here._

"Josh," Drake said, his head still in the fridge, "Where's my pudding?"

"You ate it."

"What? No I didn't! I think I'd remember that."

Josh sighed, "I'm telling you, you ate it before you left.. when… you know."

Drake turned to glare at him, "If I find out you ate my pudding, something bad is going to happen to your Oprah tapes."

He gasped. "E_vil!_"

The kitchen swung open and they both froze. Megan walked in with a suspicious look on her face. "Josh… who are you talking to?"

Josh went bright red and immediately began stammering, "Uh, er, no-no one, why would I be talking to someone, obviously no one's here, right? So who, who would I be talking to?" He laughed nervously.

Megan's eyes narrowed at the open refrigerator, which Josh was across the room from. "Why's the refrigerator open?"

Josh avoided her gaze. "No reason."

Walking quickly across the room to stand, unbeknownst to her, right next to her dead brother, who was standing as still as he could as though it made a difference, she grabbed the handle and slammed the door right into Drake. He yelped loudly as it bounced off him, and a jug of milk burst open, soaking him in an instant.

"Holy- what's wrong with this door?" Megan asked, eyes boggling. She tried several times in succession to close the door, much to Drake's dismay as he was continuously slammed while trying to scramble out of the way.

"Megan!" Josh yelled, alarmed.

"Why won't this stupid door close!"

"Because!" Josh latched onto the door before she could make another attempt to shut it. "Because, you're… er… not… doing it right?"

Dazed, Drake stumbled away from the refrigerator. Josh slowly demonstrated closing the door, pretending he was doing something drastically different then her. Then he re-opened it and quickly started to mop up the mess. A sudden, tiny sniffle from the girl startled him. Tears were running down her face in streams, reminding him uncannily of Drake's earlier waterworks.

"Oh… Megan…" Josh said helplessly, looking over to a still wounded and milk-soaked Drake. "D-don't cry… I mean… It's just milk…" He winced at those last words and mentally berated himself. _It's just milk? Yeah, Josh, good one._ Standing, he pulled her carefully into his arms. "It's okay Megan. It's going to be okay."

"I hate him…" she said in the tiniest of voices. "I miss him… How can he just be _gone_?"

"He's not _gone_, Megan, he's… he's right here with us." Drake scoffed at the cheesiness, but Josh just shrugged. What else could he say?

Megan pulled away, looking up at him with a brightness in her eyes that was, to say the least, disturbing. "Yeah. Yeah, he is."

And then she turned, more ghostly then her dead brother, and walked silently out of the kitchen.

"Um… What did she mean by that?" Drake asked, arching a brow.

"I really don't know if I want to know," Josh answered.

* * *

Up in their room again with a bag of chips and two sodas, Josh flopped onto the couch, followed shortly by Drake who sat right next to him, closer then he'd ever tried to be when he was alive.

Josh set the can down on the floor and sat quietly, just listening to his brother eating and drinking, trying to memorizing the feeling of not being alone in this room. Finally, after five minutes, during which Drake had devoured almost all of the chips, Josh cleared his throat.

"So… Drake. Don't you think we should talk?" He asked.

"'Bout what?" Drake asked with a stubborn look on his face. This was not something he wanted to talk about.

"Well… Okay." Josh sat up a bit straighter. "Let's say, that, you know, this isn't just some crazy dream. And let's say I haven't gone nuts and you're not just some figment of my imagination. And let's say that we're not being Punk'd by Ashton Kutcher. That means that you really are… a ghost, or whatever it is that you are." He took a moment to contemplate how completely wrong the movies were about ghosts and their appearances before getting back to the matter at hand. "Well… Why?"

"Why what?" Drake said as he scooped a handful of crumbs out of the chip bag.

"Why… are you here, and not wherever you're supposed to be?"

"You mean the shiny afterlife or whatever? All unfinished business stuff?"

"Well… Yeah."

"Don't care." Drake said nonchalantly, and Josh, horrified, knew he was being honest.

"You _don't care?_ How could you _not care?_ I mean, come on-"

"I don't care," Drake said simply, "Because it doesn't matter. Obviously I'm not going to _stay_ dead."

At this, Josh was completely dumbstruck. "_What_?"

Drake grinned widely at his brother and took a swig of his drink. "I'm not going to stay dead because we're going to find a way to resurrect me."

TBC

A/N: Ah, yes. There will still be drama and angst in this story, but, to be perfectly honest with you, the next few chapters _at the least_ are going to be much more lighthearted. Don't worry, though, angst-fans, it'll be back.

It always comes back.


End file.
